water and fire and jerks and food

Let's play in this pool. Let's eat in this pool. Let's sleep in this pool. Let's raise our families in this pool. Come on! We'll raise tadpole babies and teach them our pool volleyball skillz.

So this was our 4th of July.

Let's take a drink break, mermaid style!

New girlfriend ...

Babes vs. Babes.

Staring at something in PARTICULAR? Hmmmm?

Bases loaded ... nearly half-time ... the score is tied ... I don't know, I wasn't paying attention to the technicalities. I think our team lost twice and won twice. Everyone was super into the game, like when you'd play co-ed games in elementary school! You'd play to win and forget about your stupid Save the Otters tee shirt.

YAY TEAM! (go me!)

And here's the best part: people named Florian and Casey came over and made fun of the guys playing the girls. Like, "how hard is it to play a team of girls, drooool." Laurel jumped back in, we recruited Simon and beat C and F. Literally. We purposely slapped the volleyball into Casey's face over and over and over. aaaaaahahahahahaha! Ash, Claire, you'd be so proud of us girlies :)

BIG FINALE!

modern movie

I'm seriously considering going to a full priced movie at the cinema this week. There are a couple possibly alright movies, i don't know, nothing mind blowing. Mostly I need to mend my theater going experiences as they are closely approaching the devastating equivalent of a five car pile-up.

The last 25 movies I've seen at the dollar theater have included so much penis jokes that I'm starting to think in terms of penis jokes. Penis jokes is my new currency, except not in a good way, because I have so much penis jokes in my bank account. I've whittled away my future by becoming a penis joke art student in NY. And eventually I'll succumb to drug addiction because everything in my life was handed to me, namely penis jokes. AND I USED TO LOVE PENIS JOKES!

Yuck, I really should have tried harder with that analogy. oh wellsies, moving on ...

Transformers looks awful, Ice Age looks awful + is meant for a kid audience, Year One looks awful (except for David Cross) + I'M UP TO MY EARS IN PENIS JOKES, DID I NOT JUST MAKE THAT CLEAR? So, it's between Public Enemies and Away We Go.

Johnny Depp will play that outlaw character well enough in Public Enemies, but Away We Go has that cutesy "our house is a very very very fine house" plotline. AND I'M OF NESTING AGE! Public Enemies has Melvin P, but Away We Go is a tear jerker and it's that time in my cycle where I need to cry at everything.
Hmmmm.

25 years old, 5'7'', 148.5 lbs

that's it. i'm losing weight starting today.

beach bunnies in 2D

On Saturday, we switched into our string bikinis and sat on the shore.

Anna had to study for her law classes. Claire and I had the luxury of reading about the worst beach bodies and celebrity toenail polish. This made my poor, lonely brain cell weepy :'(

After a couple hours and a quick swim in l'Atlantique, our tum tums grumbled for grub.

Smart girls. They brought smoked salmon, crisp string beans, mozzarella, fresh tomatoes and ripe basil leaves.

This is another HOW TO GUIDE: HOW TO EAT YUMMY GRUB ON A BEACH WITH LIMITED SUPPLIES.

A knife is indispensable. Cut up everything into bite size pieces. We cut the tomato and mozzarella into potato chip-sized pieces. We used the plastic wrapping as a makeshift cutting board.

Try to use a magazine as a hard surface under the plastic as sand gives away too easily. National Enquirer won't work since it's thinner than Scott's brand toilet paper. Elle, Vogue or even People would work great.

I thought veggies and smoked fish worked great for a spontaneous beach picnic since they taste great hot, warm or cold. But when we were kids, slimy turkey and chicken drumsticks were beach staples. Probably just go with your gut.

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Keep the knife inside of one of the bags or be prepared to eat sand.

HOW TO GUIDE: HOW TO SURVIVE EATING SAND BY ACCIDENT.

Either spit out the food in your mouth or deal with it by chomping like a cow and swallowing it as fast as you can. Then drink something.

Then when you're done eating, go wash up sticky fingers with a dip in the ocean. If you want to go the extra mile, take the knife with you and swim out with it in your mouth like a shark hunter.

KAW-fee break, hon.

Then we ate dungeness crab, she-crab soup, linguini with oyster sauce and hush puppies at Carolina Seafood where our waitress had ashtray breath and saggy tits. I loved her. Got home and drank some wine during a viewing of Borat.

Sun exhaustion! la la la la la la!