presenting simon as a rubenesque model on a patch of grass outside of isotope ballpark.this was the night he complained about having ONLY half a bottle of gordon's vodka for his makeshift mixed fruit drink concoction. and he denied sam jessica and me from any of it. simon, we need to talk about what friendship means. and in a related note, i haven't ever been the kind of person to keep track of how much alcohol someone OWES me or i OWE somebody but now i am. with simon.
bitches. whatever i'm over it.
simon's armpits are sweaty not only from drinking half a gallon of vodka by himself but because we waited for an hour outside of isoptopes park to get in free after the 7th inning. bullshit. the game's basically over by then we might as well have gotten there early and bought a ticket. jessica sam and alex tricked the ballpark people into sellling them a beer and alex acted like a prick to me and i didn't have the energy or interest to tell him about it. so i left like a crybaby and that was last saturday.
also some party went down in the north valley but neither my spy nor i went so i have no stories about it. i expect someone said some tiresome and important fact about obama's campaign and simon spilled beer on his crotch and alex was charming and ash and lane were making out with each other in the corner but pretending not to and faceless girls were wearing hipster tights.damn that night. I HAVE HIPSTER TIGHTS. why didn't i wake up from my nap in timeeeeeeeee?
thursday night and tim marc and jay were playing trivial pursuit. remember? like the good old days when bill would know all the answers bc he and raphael memorized the cards. we separated into teams when i came over. tim and marc v. jay and meeeeee. i handled science, nature, and entertainment. jay handled history and geography.
i'm not complaining but we missed one question because jay wouldn't stop saying he was related to calvin coolidge. besides that it was an ok evening.
oh and also, tim made us feel like shit for knowing a little something about obvious movies but then he correctly answered a question about FRIENDS so we're even. something about trivial pursuit makes everyone jump up and down and give jock frat guy high fives. i mean EXACTLY like trivial pursuit commercials. not even tim jay or marc were immune to jackass trivial pursuit commercial behavior.probably the parts that made me laugh the most were when j would air-quote the wrong part of the question. whatever. i'll call that his strategy for fucking up the other team.
and then we, sans tim, went over to burt's like usual but didn't want to wait in the broke ass line that went down the street. everyone dressed like $30 hipster garbage. who am i kidding, i would be wearing that hipster garbage if i had access to reasonable hipster stores. anyhow, we decided to just leave since jess or simon weren't there yet. plus the terrible eternity head drilling experience of dp last week was just a little too fresh.
turns out we should have stayed. there was good music, good drink specials, that one italian guy i crush on, sweaty druggies dancing on the benches, and that one girl who makes me motorboat her every single time we meet. her name's rachel. and we introduce ourselves to each other every single time regardless of how many times we've done it before. ethanol poisoning.
saturday i worked in the morning and then we all met up at the local brewing company the alibi wrote about this week. tim had the oatmeal stout, jay had the amber, the raspberry ale and hefeweizen, i had the wildflower and raspberry, marc had the demolition dubbel, brown ale, blonde and too many others to recount. i'd use up all my memory writing about all the beers marc drank. anyway.
the building was beautiful. inside and out. just like meeeeeee! and tim had the best idea to go to an olde time tent revival. he said he was briefly accosted by a lady whose mama had brain cancer, blindness, etc. and the revival healed her. we were all up for it.except marc.
marc was afraid of being saved. like, acid flashbacks, man.anyway, jay said he was going to go as a mentally disabled sexoholic who reeks of beer. we all reeked of beer so that would be our guise as well. we devised the blueprints for a makeshift wheelchair for him to roll into the tent with. it was made of a bar stool and a skateboard. quite an ambitious project.
marble brewery is on 1st and marble and the revival, according to the flyer, was possibly in the same area. we weren't sure if it was in the NW 900s or SW 900s. so we decided to take a stroll. actually jay told us he wanted to drive and we ended up getting in a big fight because we thought he was too drunk and he didn't and basically he totaled his car, see below.
just kidding. but kudos to the auto place across the street from the brewery to put this display up. so we walked around the block and couldn't find the revival. however we found at least four distinct auto part stores named pedro's auto parts. turns out the revival wasn't until sunday anyhow. whatever. that gives us more time for the bar stool wheelchair project anyway.
simon went on a date last night and jessica invited me out to a bachelorette party and guess what, i fell asleep early and no amount of phone calls seemed to wake me up. it was bullshit. completely uneventful week full of geriatric sleeping schedule and getting to work on time. what have i become?
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