white trash party pass

who : those of us older than college, younger than marriage/kids
what : trailer trash themed pot luck
where : jessica's pad
when : you know, last weekend
why : games but mostly because 1 bag of cheetos = free booze

m made deviled eggs (whoa whoa whoa. what?) and i put puffy twirl cheetos on a toothpick. t brought pizza combos. l&e made jello pie. j made hot wings.

so to completely toot my own horn, i taught them about drinking game jenga, which made the party unbelievably bad ass. we wrote commands on the jenga blocks like "tell a secret bout your love life" "waterfall" "speak in british accent for remainder of game" "air guitar".

during their turn, the person would pour a little beer into the royal canister. whoever jenga'd had to drink. the jug tasted like mercury.

"make out with your hand"

"stand outside without shoes for 1 minute" (yeesh. marc's pale swiss ancestry reveals itself. i also could have wrote: here's the dead body we found.) lolz.

"snort a line of potato salad"

steve, tres, ewen, marc and i had to snort the tater. three days later, at costco, i had involuntary neck spasms when we passed the 11 gallon jug of potato salad in the freezer aisle.

our intimate hoe down became trailer-trash-tacular when a bus load of peeps showed up.

the best question was "tell us a love life secret" but only 2 people got it and i'm not quite a big enough asshole to reveal them. go ask simon.

"lick the dog"

definitely the kind of party where five champagne flutes broke and the champagne spilled all over the stairs. and someone yanked the chain off the staircase. and i scraped my knee doing air guitar. and all 15 of us were participating in this retarded game. probably my favorite part was when the 21 year old tart in hipster flannel and star tattoos started making a "fuss" and being cutesy about not knowing how to play jenga and everyone ('cept shocky) booed her daddy-issued ass.

a hillbilly strip and 5 chug contests later, we walked downtown. surprisingly, i was only a 5 on the buzzed o meter and somehow j was a 9, so we propped her up a la weekend at bernie's to get into anodyne. it worked! shocky was his usual obnoxious self. rocky became a hermit crab dud. and hocky and i argued about the effect of blueher ma and pa on blueher son.

marc and i held hands on the way back to the car so i think we're unofficially dating again. countdown to next breakup in 3...2...