kitty kitty wah

Hi, first things first: I had a really fucking shitty day where I forced myself to numb out any internal feelings so by the time everything was resolved I was dehydrated and throwing up. So, my writing is sub-par. It sucks to admit it, but I already know my writing belongs in 8th grade remedial english class but today's is slightly worse. sorry. I don't really feel like going back and proofreading and inserting funnies and doing the thesaurus thing today. I guess what I'm saying is I try hard to look effortless because real effortless is garbage. Read. Or Don't.

Here is the tear-soaked flyer i made this morning:

I let Baby go outside yesterday around noon. And I remember his demanding little cries. He sat on the window sill and stared at my face until I stared back. And before that, I remember the afternoon sun shining on my face and seeping into my eyelids. Baby's curled body was sleeping next my legs. His tiny tiny paws outstretched and lazy. I kept thinking about that morning. My mind let the scene replay and replay in a sickening macabre fashion.

My mom came into town to help me look for him. I heard her ask me if everything was ok and I started sobbing. I couldn't help it. I couldn't hold my hands steady. She helped me put on my gloves and we went searching.

I've never lost a pet before. My pets! My curly tails! My weird loveys! They make me laugh. They catch stray house bugs and I sing them songs. I give these little creatures love. soft scratchies. pats on their head when they catch toy mice for me. You would sob too if your baby animal suddenly left you. My little sweetheart! We put spells on each other and then he was just gone!

After two days, the animal shelter picked him up.

Baby! He was there! His defeated eyes looking through mine. The volunteer let me pick him up and hold him. His flat nose had a small scratch. I had to fill out paperwork before I could take him home. Except not really. Marc's name was on all the documents even though we've paid exactly 50/50 on every vet bill, city registration, and microchip fee.

The fat woman behind the desk couldn't let me take my Baby home. I would have to wait until Marc got home from his business trip.

And you know what I thought of? I thought of the Vice President debate where Joe Biden kept repeating their belief on gay partners and hospital visits. I know this is different! I know this is different! I may be fairly fucking delusional about my pets, but I can at least admit a kitty cat may as well be a suitcase compare to a domestic partner.

But still, DAMN DAMN DAMN YOU, CITY OF ALBUQUERQUE NITWITS.

Go ahead you worthless piece of shit human. Tell me I can't take my Baby home.