bad words, bandanged ears, looooong night

game night. we drank good beer (finally!) and wine and played elfenland last night at tim's. damn the mountainous kingdom and lack of unicorn travel cards.

simon got excited in the bathroom and started screaming to all of us in the living room. when he came out he had peed all over his pants. the true casualty is tim's bathroom.
oh. and also tim looked like the most handsome microchip salesman ever. and marc's stache is still there. although it's looking less 70s dad and more independent film star. vhat do you tink?then we went down to burt's even though i told myself last week that i would never go again. come on, i had to go out, i used the last of the really extra special conditioner that comes in hair dye boxes so i was looking extra fly.

isn't it weird how you just have to think of something and your whole facial expression changes unconsciously? marc took these pixures and i think we were talking about si's piss pants again. that topic neverrrrr gets old. just cold.
marc looks like frankenstein's monster.

so jessica and i were dancing like so awesome and some guy came over, took my camera and ORDERED us to POSE. he shouted at us like models who don't put out. what does that even mean??? the first one, he shouted LOOK WEIRD. NO! CREEPIER! the second one, he shouted SERIOUS! BE LIBRARIANS! and the last one he shouted SEXYYYYY!jessica looks great. cute. sexy. i look like the 3 different phases of irritable bowel syndrome. just think of me as a muse for pepto bismol commercial.

jessica cassyle carr, who works with si at the alibi was ms. dj for like 5 minutes. purple stockings??? i almost ripped them off her. so cute.
almost no guys know this but the girlies bathroom in a dive bar is thee hippiest part of the bar. literally anything you want to snort, hear advice on, trade, kiss, ANYTHING is always one stall away. and i always try to make at least two trips there whenever downtown. last night four girls were arguing whether they'd rather use 'bitch' or 'cunt' to describe their bff. you know, bitch and cunt in a good way like 'you my bitch, bitch'. then someone said it depends on how you say it like 'biiiiiiiitch' or 'bitcccccchhhhhh' and everyone started screaming the b-word to each other. the bitch fest left and another group of girls came in.

chloe and her girlfriends came in and argued whether abstaining from sex made you more fertile and screamed ferTILLLLLLLLLLLLE! into the crowd outside the bathroom. for some reason it was an aphrodisiac to the drunks and they all crowded around her.
ok. so last call and jessica and i were waiting at the bar to get her card when these guys gave us a beer and told us we needed to drink it. so naturally we started chanting ROOFIE DRINK! ROOFIE DRINK! it looks like each one of these boys are mentally screaming 'I WILL NOT HURT YOU! GET IN MY CAR BABY!' aaaaaaaahahahhahahah!

there are so many things wrong with this picture, it becomes so right

and then back to wrong