Saturday, September 6, 2008

detox weekend part three

we packed the car and my backpack on monday and headed out on hwy 4 toward bandelier national park.
a stand ten miles outside of san ysidro sold us fry bread and indian tacos. we stopped for a bite and enjoyed the scenery.
we passed soda dam, battleship rock and los conchas but didn't stop at any of them. the soul splicing amounts of loser mall hipsters wearing last season's white sunglasses pissed on my parade. we just kept on driving away.
bandelier. finally. and i didn't even need a barf bag.
len, our park ranger, was funny, educational and had a salacious sense of humor. overall, he was A-OK! can i become a junior park ranger? am i too old? why can't adults have silly non-negotiable meaningless badges of status?
YOGI!!!!
yogi found a day old bean burrito.
chomp chomp chomp!!!up to this point we hadn't seen any wildlife. i brought along my pad of paper and pencils to draw a squirrel or muledeer or snake or beetle. but alas! there were too many humans and baby humans confusing all the wildlife away. march on!
i sat there for a few minutes hoping the shirtless park ranger would run by again. was he a hallucination? possibly. see below!
i observed many different species of fungi at bandelier national park. one type was this flat stout yellow mushroom. they were still attached to the ground so i couldn't pick it up. it was cool to the touch and like a ruffled velvet pillow. i left it alone.
you can't read it but that sign says 'campground: THAT WAY and alcove house: THIS WAY' with an arrow that pointed STRAIGHT UP. did i mention to you i have a complicated fear of heights?
SWEATING FROM THE ALTITUDE! please don't let me fall sky gods.
k. now just five thousand more ladders to climb.
we made it to the top!!!! i was sweaty and hot and dusty. and most of all i was still shaking from climbing so high but it was beautiful. we sat on the floor of the cave and stared at the forest and mountain right in front of us.
the climb down was not so bad. plus there was a little girl watching me climb down so i had to act like a hot shot. i even jumped off the second rung a couple of times. the second time i sprained my ankle but at least i didn't flinch at the time although it made the walk back an experience in excruciating ankle pain.
sorry. my busted camera is falling apart and sometimes casts a skinny shadow so IGNORE IT. ignore it and look! WILDLIFE! i couldn't figure out why natural selection would give this critter a white tail. can you figure it out?
i look pretty fucked up in this pic. let's blame it on the broken ankle i was dealing with. but look, i found a yellow mushroom that was already broken off from its stem. i didn't eat it. i just rubbed its juices all over my hands and face.
and marc's hands.
we didn't notice any perceivable difference. i spotted a short gray snake and it made me jump. it was a garter snake and marc reminded me that snakes are just as scared of me as i am of them. it's difficult to explain that to my reflexes though. i kept telling myself they're harmless and unbelievably uninterested in human affairs. it worked a little bit. you should try it.
numerous families of spiders were living in this split tree trunk. we didn't sit around it for too long for fear of spider webs in our hair! and also our growling bellies.
we returned to the main loop trail again but just to walk it alone. all the fat tourists were back in their air conditioned subarus and it left the park fairly empty. we relished the time alone.
marc spotted a lizard the size of his thumb. it had black and white spots on a gray body. we left him alone. he's in the lower left hand quad of the photo.
oh yeah. almost forgot. on the ride home i noticed i had a bee on my crotch. we had to stop the car so i could get out and flail my arms around in normal bee on crotch fashion. we both survived. hurrah.
last but not least, our growling bellies could not wait until albuquerque and los alamos was just a little too atomic age for me so we stopped in santa fe. marc got a couple IPAs from marble brewery and i got something called the black cherry something blah blah vodka drink. it was watered down. our food was delicious and warm and we ate every last bite.

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