god bless the states

i'm not kidding this is an actual border thingy that comes WITH the camera. if i ever go on that tour of ancient temples in southern europe i swear i'm going to use the frame that makes it look like you're sitting on a cowboy's lap EVERYWHERE.
that's the thing i'll miss about being young and egocentric view of the world. being an asshole clogging up precious mini golf courses to take a terrible picture of myself.

then we went to karaoke at the bowling alley bar on wednesday. about three hundred bloody marys into it and we decided to sing johnny cash's ring of fire.
oh yea. so remember how simon works for the alibi? the karaoke bar printed out a hundred copies of the best of burque recommendation for best karaoke bar (which was themselves) and handed them out to everyone! as soon as we told her that simey was one of the alibi guys she went bananananananananansssssssss. and the best part was when simon got up to give an acceptance speech.
kinda hard to see but jessica drew simon a real doll on a napkin. it looks like exhaust is coming out of her butt.
ummm. why is simon holding a rolled up dollar bill?
you know how everyone can emulate at least one famous singer's voice perfectly? celebrity impersonator perfectly. simey can do johnny cash, jessica can do cher, marc can do axl rose. and it's not like you can pick who's voice you do well. it just happens. luck of the draw. mine is billy corgan from smashing pumpkins. are you kidding me god?! billy corgan?! like could mine at least have been a woman?! this always upsets me to no avail. especially at karaoke. oh wellsies. tooo-niiiight! too-nightt to-nnnight! i think it's cause we both have round thyroid problem faces.
so that guy on the left in the black shirt offered to buy jess a drink and then to sing her a song!! bof. what a cheese ball pick up line. although i was just sobbed in the toilet stall since no one asked to sing for meeee.
doo wop doo wop doo wop. also i noticed we were all kind of slobbering while singing. is that a fight or flight mechanism?
karaoke was omg cool and actually not that frightening with 2 other peoples on stage with me. some idiot tried to sing prince and she only knew that line 'bla bla bla when doves cry" so she fucked up the rest of the song and basically the sitting down in a booth groove we had goin on. we were dancing up a storm and screaming, wolf whistling, woo-wooing so much bar patrons became suspicious that the bar hired us as party people to spruce up that hole in a wall. speaking of hole in a wall, some dbag had a foot long tattoo of the beer logo on his armmmmmm! what does that even mean? next time i'm totally doing blondie's heart of glass. take that corgan!!!!!!!