spuh-lash or zomfg indoor pools

Did yous guys see dis?! (more !!!!!!! than ?????)

Water exercise classes on the cheapo. OH GAWD ... highly, highly love water aerobics. Really, it's the most forgiving exercise class out there. Here are the top 4 reasons to love water aerobics:

• It's exclusively attended by old ladies in flower bathing caps, so any insecurity about el cuerpo is diminished by the fact that you're 60 years younger than anyone there and the tits are closer to your shoulders than your hips - hopefully.

• You don't get sticky sweaty in a pool.

• Running in place underwater with leg weights while pumping your arms and keeping your face above the surface is awkward, humiliating and exhausting. But, you can't help but laugh and then the person next to you laughs, then the person next to her until everyone is completely humiliated and carrying on together. It's that lovely, secret, surprising feeling you get when a whole room of people feel the same way. Human-race-ness? Hmmm. Quick! Scribe, come up with a German word for my feeling.

• Muscular aerobics instructor clad in elastic swimsuit.

• Fitness high, work-out euphoria, bla bla bla, let's get drinks afterward.
  

So much to laugh at in this photo, yet so little caption space ... swimming in ur own Polident? Just be glad the camera's above the water level? Place where boners go to die?

Also, obvie, this means I have to go shopping for a swim suit that holds everything in for longer than ten seconds. Let's consider some classic one piece swimsuit moments.

For our Classic One Piece Moments, this is a little sparse on the One Piece, but makes up for it on the Classic.

See above 'planation.

Not so Classic, nor One Piece, but worth noting:

And obviously, I would love to wear a Rudi Gernreich style monokini if I weren't positive I'd be thrown out of the natatorium.

Perfection.

Does someone want to host a private pool party so I can have excuse to make and wear this?

I'll let u know how the class goes. If anything, I'll make new friends with Mildred, Blanche and Winifred.

(dislocated) HIP! (dislocated) HIP! HOORAY!