home alone

ok, so after i posted about home alone, i found the wikipedia page and look what i found:

Home Alone 3

Main article: Home Alone 3

The film does not revolve around Kevin but centers on Alex Pruitt, a young boy who is home alone ill. At this time, four terrorists working for a North Korean terrorist group are sent by their boss to obtain a top-secret microchip that can act as a cloaking device for a missile. They succeed in retrieving the chip and hide it in a remote controlled car, but due to a luggage mix up at the airport with the Pruitts' neighbor, Mrs. Hess, the car lands in the hands of Alex who lives down the street from her.

um. WHAT?! four freelance terrorists working for another north korean terrorist somehow mess up and their 'cloaking device' gets rerouted to an 8 year old? ok. sure. when i read the actual wikipedia page for home alone 3, i found a few sentences that made me either nauseous or simply, laugh:

"The thieves then come to Chicago and systematically search every house in Hess's suburb to find the chip." (ed. note: sure, every house. this only makes sense if no one has security systems and also if no one is home. ever.

"Alex then mounts a camera on his remote controlled car and tries to film some footage of the thieves, who are now residing in a vacated house." (ok. a vacated house that is within filming distance from his remote controlled camera. sure. whatever)

"He runs up to the attic and goes into the laundry elevator to the basement." (you lost me. what is a laundry elevator? this reminds me how i hate upper middle class.)

"Beaupre, however, managed to escape and hides in the igloo in the backyard." (igloo. sure. ok. this makes no sense.)

"Stan's parrot meanwhile drives the RC car into the igloo and threatens to light the fireworks which are lined around the inside." (um. first of all, do parrot have the type of cognition to drive a car into an igloo? and even if you can believe that part, the parrot threatens a human? this makes me suspicious about asimov-esque animal laws.)

"Beaupre offers a cracker, but the parrot demands two." (see above.)

"Since he only has one cracker, the parrot then lights the fireworks, and escapes." (please, writers, enough with the highly intelligent parrot. and don't tell me they give him jim gaffigan's voice.)

"In the final scene, where the four thieves are having their mugshot photos taken, they are shown to have Alex's chicken pox."

here are the photos, according to the movie poster:just based on the electrocution and scatological aspect of these pix, i will never watch this movie. did the guy second down from the top die from frostbite? how morbid. daniel stern, let's just agree that it's a good thing you never joined this cast.