travel day twenty-one

saturday december 6. day twenty-one.

lazy morning. we woke up and sat around underneath shells of blankets until noon. is this a photo of us looking at bill's receipt letter again? i get it. you check out ten books at a time at the 'brary. moving on. on a less bitchy note, ash and i made bill collages out of a pretentious magazine, the free weekly newspaper, and a scrapbooking kit. ashley's project bordered on the ransom note/artsy side of scrapbooking while mine seemed to teeter on the edge of stalker/obsessed fan. nevertheless, if/when we give them to bill, he'll blankly look at them and slur 'thanks' to us, ultimately telling si how worthless they are to him.

went down to the marshall fields building, which is now a macy's. fantastic mosaic ceiling. grand columns and balconies. of course the blonde bimbos couldn't take their eyes off of the jewelry counter long enough to look at it. it took all the energy i had to not roll my eyes everytime a blonde bimbo shrieked at the merchandise. ash and lane saw a lady clog up the escalator by not getting off of it when she got to the top. she was too busy texting, causing a dangerous situation of people piling onto a revolving metal staircase. and her valley girl "uuuuugh" while rolling out her upper lip was all we could handle. decided to brave the cold rather then experience the new lows of humanity.

cheeeez!

synchronized scarves. cool. see the holiday safety tip sign? how's this one:

Holiday Safety Tip #1

Do not create the world's largest Christmas tree by stringing hundreds of smaller pine trees together with barbed wire and then wrapping flammable light bulbs around it. And especially do not invite mass quantities of people to gather around it, potentially causing it to catch fire and explode, or rather, just fall over and decapitate children waiting in line to talk to santa.

$$$wtf?! 29 dollars and infinity cents?! what a scam.

so we got too cold and went to h&m. dressing room pix!

all stuff i didn't buy. ash had more luck with accessories and a voluminous deep autumn orange scarf.

then charlotte russe:

finally! a shirt that accentuates my skin color. stores like this, my friend, cater to blonde bimbo's skin color palette. it sucks most of the time, but then again at least i don't get rosacea or furry blonde mustache hair.

by the way, these aren't normal clothes stores. they are the gargantuan kind. the kind you only find in highly densely populated cities. two to three floors dedicated to tight skirts, hello kitty socks, ruffles, sparkles, roses, lace, platform heels, headbands, feathers, golden earrings, soft pleather bags, rainbow glasses, pleats, tights! girls! girls! girls! somehow lane survived.

and then urban outfitters:

this store is utter bullshit. almost everything in here is cool enough for a hipster's paradise, except it's priced way way way too high. $$$18 for a flower ring? $$$22 for a small russian flask? $$$24 for a skinny peacock headband? yeah yeah, h&m and charlotte russe were overpriced too but not as considerably silly as this place. it was fun to look around though. piece of shit store, why can't i just steal from you?

then forever 21:

i bought a tight satin mini and some 3 for $10 panties. they all have some type of hearts, animal print or rainbows on it. i like how to a certain point, girls' underwear will always be a variation of the same theme. either that or i need to go to a grown up lady's panty shop. somehow i envision hanes her way when i type that. barf.

remember the unfortunate smokers staring down their noses at us here? just think, we have youth and they have nicotine addiction. that's the christmas spirit!!!

we walked over to the bean park.

believe me there were 70 ice skaters on this rink not 5 minutes before i took the pic.

cool, huh?

guess who?

then the night kinda changed dramatically from tourist shoppy mode. got home and did the interweb thing until 1:30AM and remember how we all crowded 'round the computer when we found out vince listed himself as single? lol. anything to get out of putting on our snowboots. we walked over to the corner bar. look familiar, bill?

whatever lane!!! ash looks beautiful in this pic.

damn baby. you sexy.

nippy lady.

turns out, the bar was cash only and we only had $20 or so between us. (sorry guys, i still owe you!) so we stomped back to the pad. homemade shots were calling my name.

umm. so the 100% lemon juice was considerably more volatile than i accounted for. like drinking battery acid. and somehow in comparison, it made the vodka easier to handle.

chased it with a couple pabsts and called it a night. luckily my cammy didn't capture everything so leave it up to your imagination. and my dear diary.