as i previously stated, marc and i woke up on thanksgiving with pounding dizzying hangovers. stinking slightly of stale vodka breath and dirty dollar bills, we both woke up, washed up and slunk over to the parents' house. i'm officially the middle generation at his family's shindig. it didn't make me feel old. just less cared about. and my slowly increasing (like y=ln(x+.5) speed) sense of self-worth (most of my hardcore egotrips happened around 17 years old) can't handle trauma like this. i sat there and drank draft after draft. remembering to make nice chit chat with the in-laws every so often.
uncle harvey put a classical music channel on the tube for the whole day. wtf man. it's not thanksgiving without football and if he doesn't understand this then we have fundamental differences that cannot be resolved. the worst part was that it was a classical music CHANNEL. as in, music comes out of the speakers and an insanely boring picture of a bald conductor floats around on the screen. couldn't we have put the game on the tube, muted of course, and played classical music on the radio? probably but no one ever asked. i was too busy hiding or looking extremely busy. you wouldn't believe how busy you look when you walk really fast from the back of the house to the front and vice versa.
did i tell you that the kids love me? unbeliveably adore me. like, fanatical screaming my name and hugging and snuggling love! and really, why not? my 5 year old self would be mega obsessed with an "aunt" like me.
PHOTOS WITHELD BY REQUEST OF GUT!!!
unfortunately, i will not post the rest of the photos of our walk with the nieces. it's my gut telling me this. i have a slew of really cute pics of m and me with the kiddos but to post them for any creep to see was giving me kind of a weird vibe, man. i have no problem with the same yoyo from louisiana looking at my poor decisions to parade around in ripped pantyhose but i feel mother hawk protective of the girls. so, sorry. you would've pissed your pants at how adorable everyone is. and i wouldn't blame you.
le sigh!
and i don't need to tell you how my ice cold heart warms up when i hear one of them say "we wiv in SA-WEM, G!"
marc's parents had me crying when they talked about how special it was to have their family come together for thanksgiving. we all talked about what we were thankful for and thank god i didn't say these free beers. and thank god m didn't say big boobies. and whatever. whatever. the other mom in law basically made everything from scratch and magic and kind of didn't even deal with the concept of tofu turkey like it was beyond blasphemous. eh, fuck that. she made these homemade dishes that you would think would be martha stewart living perfection but i was like "chew chew um what the heck is in my mouth? chew chew yawn yawn chew chew. swallow." like, now i know that i prefer CANNED frenched style green beans to fresh green beans for green bean casserole.
possibly my favorite moment was when i was sitting by myself on a cushy chair with a pounding headache and sticky hangover breath. red eyes and praying i wouldn't barf on top of the coffee table. i looked over at marc lying on the floor with his eyes closed. his arms folded over his chest and gut breathing slowly up and down. one of the kids ran up to him and jumped super hard on his belly, folding him in half. his legs flew up in the air and his hands went over his mouth to cover whatever remnants of dinner may have come up. and it was slightly more brain cognition than i readily had to warn him of the approaching kid. c'est la vie.
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