my very own social experiment

i'm sitting at brickyard waiting to be picked up or at the very least wink-winked at. let me explain.

so, there i was, sitting at home half-ironically watching lifetime christmas specials (only the best, baby!) and taking pictures of myself looking bored and in ill-repair. too lazy to delve back into my kafka short story book. too unmotivated to study for any kind of silly chemistry grad school exam. too full to eat. i'm just sloth-like tonight.

but still active enough to drink beers, think and write on blog. let's see ... i hate 'stay-at-home' nights, which is exactly what i'm doing right now. i hate that i have a body like a 21 year old college student and i might be wasting it. i hate paying for beers and drugs when i might be able to acquire them through superficial means. i.e. what can the average looking girl can get for free?

this is where i decided to conduct a social experiment. let's see if i can get a free drink by changing variables about my person. whereby, free drink = pick-up line = substantial wink wink = offer to fuck = offered phone number = increased self-esteem. and also, whereby, variables may include:

amount of time since i washed my hair,
dark stripper eye make-up
bra vs. braless
tight clothes
bright clothes
heels vs. flats (remember i'm 5'7'' on a shitty day, 5'8'' on proud ones. some guys have issues with tall girls. maybe?)
brooding
moody
overtly sexual
mysterious
straight hair
curly hair
perfume vs. no perfume
unable to hold my liquor demeanor (i.e. underage babe)
minding my own business
eyeing the guys first
pheromones (this, unfortunately, depends solely on where i am on my cycle)
pants vs. dress
red lipstick vs. chapstick
glasses or not
tomboyish
seemingly busy
seemingly bored
dressed up as dorm rat (i.e. appearing to be 18 or thereabout)
dressed as my age (i.e. saggy diaper pants??? i.e. what the fuck do 24 year old albuquerque residents dress as?)
dressed as an art student
dressed as a rich girl
dressed as a dyke
hair up vs. hair down

etc. etc. etc. as you can see!

my control will be composed of normal me, which i will describe now:

body is curvy and slightly average.
body is composed of slightly rounded ass, but nothing to be proud of.
body is composed of b-cups until recently when i bought a c-cup bra (this means i still have perky tits but they're large, like no less than one and a half handfuls of mammary glands and fatty tissue per ... unit?)
body is composed of wide hips and longs legs.
height is 5'7''
[note to reader: i'm not being a dbag here, about my qualities. every girl under the age of 25 or before pregnancy, whichever come last, have these exact same qualities.]
tan skin, basically (to be slightly more descriptive: my arms, shoulders, and legs have always been very dark, i would say, dark as if both my parents were native. my face, because of sunblock, has always been light brown, like milky-tan gas station cappuccino. my tits and ass, of course, could be mistaken for mary catherine o'donnell's ass and tits, i've never gotten sun to those parts.)
hair is longer than shoulder length.
hair is black (hair is actually a plethora of colors, which of course matters no more, since bars will always have shitty beer goggles lighting.)
hair is greasy when not washed every 15 hours, therefore, hair is usually greasy.

and i find it inexplicably difficult to describe my face. i've been told i'm a 7 so let's stick with that, however depressed it makes me feel.

everything else can be altered for the experiment. clothes, personality, hair style, demeanor, etc.

ON TO THE EXPERIMENT!!!

wait a sec.

you know what? as i write, i realize that this is a kinda, maybe, cool social experiment (when will i ever again have this c-cup, tiny waist, long leg thing going on for me?) so i should try to plan my night better than i did tonight.

in the future i'll label these posts as social experiment. see ya then.