the long awaited fashion show

Well, first off, Marc was pretty effing angry at me for making him be my fashion photographer on Saturday. I promised him a fun day of doing cool stuff as a reward for completing his Linear Algebra test and instead I came over with two suitcases full of dumb girl clothes.

Oh wellsies! I think I helped him make sun tea so s'alls goooood!

I got the shirt from H&M and the sweater from Forever21. They're both a couple sizes too large, which I'm finding is my preferred style now. You look like you've got your shit together when your shirts are baggy all over.

This dress is from Whalebone Surf Shop in Nags Head. It's one of those surfer brands so its construction is pretty solid. I've always been weary about the What Not to Wear philosophy of buying really "classic" (i.e. expensive and boring) "pieces" (i.e. clothes) because they'll last longer. I've found that surf brands have great tailoring and cute accents that replicate "classic pieces" really well, but on the cheap. I've never thrown away or donated any surf brand clothes and that's saying a lot!!! Anyway, this blue dress has a great flower design with little white specks that make it look spacey. The waist is awesomely 2 inches below my bust so it really creates the Barbie doll effect. Plus, the hem is slightly cinched and the fabric sort of balloons out a little below the waist creating a cute preggers belly effect -- in a good way! I don't know, sometimes a girl just wants to know what it feels like to carry a sweetpea baby in them. And anyhow, when I'm not feeling it, I just ruffle it down.

Cat break!

"Hello, it's me-ow!"

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!

So, this top makes me crazy. Great colors, great length, subtle ruffles. BUT. It doesn't button all the way up or all the way down and of course my excessive fatty tissue splits the shirt in half. I tried wearing a tank top underneath it but it just looks dopey like I'm trying to cover up out of courtesy for my high school dress code. I should just sew a few more buttons on it. We'll see if that ever happens ........ Oh, and I tied a black belt loop around my neck, in the nonsexual way.

Another surf brand dress. This one is strapless with a magenta, white, orange and black floral pattern. Sort of a Hitchcock inspired color palette. I paired it with these orange lens sunglasses from Savers and that same black fabric belt. The top of the dress is scrunched on the sides for maximum cleavage security.

Jeez, I forgot that I had tied that black belt over everything. Anyway, the black belt is tied over both the black sweater and rainbow quilt pattern dress. This dress is a surf brand from Outer Banks Boarding Co. I feel pretty awesome for thinking to pair a subdued sweater with a rainbow dress. By itself, the dress makes me look like a clown's assistant, but it's less flashy with the black elements. Anyway, the dress is my soulmate. It has a heavy silver zipper in the back and the top fits my chest perfectly. Plus, the surf brand was smart enough to put two layers of heavy duty fabric on the top so I don't have to wear a bra. Hopefully! It seems like as soon as I have an outfit figured out, I realize something looked weird from behind or it's see through.

So, this is a closeup of the top part of the rainbow dress. It's a very casual sweetheart neckline, which just blows my mind away. I think the world needs a whole lot more of subtle sweetheart necklines. It's gorgeous and hot and cute all at once.

This shirt has a cool ruffle over the chest, like a 70s prom dress. Except this has black squiggly lines on it. It's slightly too small for me, but it was on sale and of course I just figured I'd lose enough weight to make it a regular staple in my wardrobe. Always a good idea ...

Also, I keep looking at my face in the pic. Is this what I would look like with plastic surgery? I need to get cheekbone implants and chubby cheek removal surgery ASAP. Just joking! I heart myself. :)

This is the tiny herringbone flannel dress I bought from Thrift Town. It's sort of grungy and super tight and perfect for crashing house parties in.

I can hide a whiskey bottle in my bag.

And I paired it with a pair of ruffled black underwear. Tres cool.

Sure, whatever. Shorts, shirt, vest. CHECK!

God, this is awful. The vest is from a hundred years ago at Forever21. I'm still trying to figure out how to recycle it into something respectable.

And aaaaaahahahahahahaha! I almost forgot I had a brain aneurysm and bought a pair of hipster glasses. Barf! Luckily, I left the tags on so I can return them. Seriously, do I look like your mom trying to be "young"?

This is actually a shirt, I just didn't feel like putting pants on ... bla bla bla ... blue fabric, white stars, black belt, striped sweater ... yawn, I'm getting tired of writing about clothes.

this is cool.