pub crawl two thousand nine!

Our old friend, Simey, was out of town, which meant no one would call us demanding we get drunk and go downtown. tears! We dragged our lazy asses down to joe's and ordered a few pints. Joe's. Yeah, Joe's.

Joe's is fine for those nights where you ran out of laundry and have more than 3 pimples on your forehead, but come on, it was thursday and we all just wanted to get laid by coked out hipsters.

We moved our legs over to Copper Lounge, and thus begun our pub crawl:

We ordered the Copper Martini and discussed religion on tv or ..... something. Blah. Look, I'm going to let you boys onto a teensy weensy girl secret:

Politics, religion, sports, history, science. These are topics that everyone cares or has an opinion about, vrai? They're fun and engaging and controversial ALWAYS! But somehow, you boys make it dreary and flat when you talk about it. This is, and correct me if i'm wrong (i'm not), because the boners are trying to impress, trying so so hard to show how much they know! Insert whimpering noises. Whereas, a girl wants to share her mind and likewise. So, when a girl happens to grant you with her unicorn-loving, stawberry-scented presence, please be aware of her general interest level. Things like texting, filing fingernails, zombie-like stares are bad signs, k?

Another bad sign: having only one girl in your group of friends. Bad boner! Bad, bad boner!!

Burt's Tiki Lounge was, as per usual, attracting the scum of our species. We stood in line for 15 minutes before leaving for anodyne.

We ordered two shi shi beers, two piss beers and a long island iced tea. Calvin was there in a circa 1993 kurt cobain striped sweater. swoon!

The martinis fucked us up.

and then back over to Burt's.

A couple kids came up and told us about an after party in the neighborhood around Highland.

We went.

I think we may have seen these kids at other parties before, but basically I don't know who they are. It was a gay guy with red beard and a young native guy with perfect skin. And then some girl named Holly who was very drunk and gave me her number (score!) before she passed out on somone's bed.

We had beer shots and hung out in the bathroom when the party people got obnoxious.

this is normal, right? lolz.

Poor Simey. Always missing the best thursdays.