seeing sex in everything

It's been about three weeks since Marc and I split up and I'm finally sitting comfortably in my single girl kind of life. It's hard to realize how dependent I had become with Marc. I'd groomed myself to be reliant on my boyfriend. It's disgusting and I feel like the portrait of Dorian Gray right now. I always knew the clingy personality was abhorrent and believed myself to be independent, but the further I get from the relationship, the more I realize how obnoxious I was (am). So here I am, a few weeks away from the situation and seeing the disaster it had become.

Relief!

I finally moved out of the suicidally lonely stage and moved onto the constant cleaning to keep my mind off of myself stage. I figure I have a few more stages before I deal with my bruised heart. SO CORNY! Quick, cowboy, write me a song!

Anyway, here's some of the fun things I do since being single:

Kicking my legs all I want while sleeping!
Flirting at dive bars! i.e. free pabsts!
Cleaning up after my own gross trash! (And if you don't think this is a godsend then you've never lived with anyone)
Eating all the good nuts in my mixed nuts can!
Training my voice to sound sexier/older/younger/smarter/dumber/deceptive/turned off!
Eating approximately one QUARTER of what I used to eat, thereby losing weight!
Feeling my boobs all I want without getting mounted!
Filling the medicine cabinets with fake eyelashes and expired eyeshadows!

The downside is that I'm turned on all the fucking time. I even get racy libido when I'm driving down the highway, which is like not really a problem as much as it is a personal situation I need to deal with outside of blogworld. Anyway, the upside to my downside is that I've ranked all the boys I know by who I'd sleep with immediately all the way down to the no way jose's! And guess what, the bartender at Coaches who looks like D.P.'s brother isn't the last one. Ummm, even though we don't really know him, he just serves us beer. You know what, actually I'm putting him in the no way jose's list, I have better self-esteem than that. Hey, lookie-loo! Being single improves mama's self-worth. yay!
Being single only gets better, ri?