If you want to get into the juicy details though, here they be:
It seemed that Lukey's housewarming party started at 3 in the afternoon, but we poo poo'd the idea of going and getting drunky that early in the day. Anyway, Alex Williams needed a ride out there and he didn't get off of work until 6. Contradicting our own philosophies, we decided to start the party at my house anyway. El Pinto salsa and tecates with lime juice on my porch. yum yum!Jay told us about a book his aunt wrote about the Schwannwick clan. It's called .......... COUSINS BY THE DOZENS! aaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAH! Anyway, he's going to give me a copy so expect a book review pretty damn soon.
Once we had everyone, we drove to the westsii-iiide and found out Lukey lives rather close to the petroglyphs .... and snakes. eeek! It appeared his party was attended by:
Mom, beautiful and so opposite of soccer mom personality
Dad, seemed strict (did anyone else get this vibe?)
his brother (wearing a tank top) and brother's friend
his sister (more on her lata)
Tim and Rapha
5 or 6 of his coworkers
and US!
His house is a two bedroom with carpet and large garage. Absolutely no personality, but that's just obvs. It is afterall, a fairly new house. And anyway, it's highly clean and khute. Plus, he had a Queens of the Stone Age poster up in the guest room, so SWOON!
The main points of interest are as follows:- Our gifts for Luke were a gigantic case of wheat beer, one of those big bottles of shi shi beer, and a 6-pack of blonde ale from jay, marc and me, respectively.
- Luke owns a box of hemp cereal.
- His parents made TWO homemade green chile stews.
- His sister looks like him in the eye area, but has jet black hair and eyelashes, so less albino-looking.
- Also, his sister is hottt and by the way the boys were eyeing her and then looking at each other, I could tell that I wasn't the only one thinking that. Plus, she had on a tight leopard print top and brought expired david lynch coffee ground to the party so she was weird like us.
- His co-workers were oatmeal to the MAX! The kind of people who never get abortions or barf in a bathtub or get roofied or piss on the sidewalk or drink gin out of the gallon container and etc. you get the idea. I tried talking to this one girl who was a gf to luke's co-worker and literally died from boredom. Like, there's oatmeal people who act enthusiastic about their own boring hiking trips and then there's oatmeal people who seem bored with their own lives. They were the latter.
- Luke has a bird's nest in his backyard tree. I died from cuteness!!!
- I always thought Luke was the kind of guy who slept on a mattress without sheets on the floor, but his bed was really tall and large and comfy, so there ya go.
- He had a bunch of camoflague and uniforms in his closet, i think? We were pretty wasted by then.
- We weighed ourselves. Marc is 185, Jay is 192, Alex is 205 and I'm 142. Biggest Loser anyone?
- Tons of food! I ate: 2 hard boiled eggs, celery, grape tomatoes, carrots, chips, dip, cheese wedges. Plus, there was a lot of meat.
- Everyone was saying Luke's brother is anti-social and a dbag, but I talked to him for a while and would say that's not true. He seems kind of shy and looks like he works out a lot so his biceps were pretty large and pulsating a little bit so I can see how you could equate that with rude and douchebag-y. At worst, I think he considers himself someone who's had the roughest life and you can't even compare, but I think that's a general guy quality, maybe? Although, he's a good listener, has pretty good stories and I could tell he had weird in him as well. Plus, large biceps.
- Luke has a little dog named Max!
- We were the last people there besides his parents and siblings. Obviously, the oatmeal people went home at 8. Wah! Baby's bedtime! And all the guys were really drunk and standing around Luke's hot sister like she was the last fertile lady on earth.
The End.
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