hot dog soup

it tastes as good as it looks

In a medium saucepan boil a package of onion soup and a few cups of vegetable broth. Mix in a couple handfuls of 99 cent discount rack pasta and let it boil for a few minutes. While the noodles are boiling, scour your cabinets for anything you'd put on a hot dog, i.e. anything. We, for instance, found a dusty can of Kroger brand sauerkraut in the back. Dump the sauerkraut into the pan and stir. Throw in a few tofu-pups or, if you're so inclined, some real meat hot dogs. Don't forget to look through the condiment shelf in your fridge. We poured in some spicy brown mustard and a couple pickles. Voila! Thanks struggling economy.

Health Note: make a point to check the expiration dates on your hot dog soup ingredients. For example, Marc B. and I almost poisoned ourselves by adding ancient ketchup.
Ok, real talk now. It started out as regular onion soup with a side of brie and crackers. yum, ri? Except the combination of veggie broth and onion soup mix was a little gross so Marc added sauerkraut. And unsurprisingly, the soup tasted like rotten worms and sweat stains.

Anyway, after that, we sort of just combed the cabinets and fridge and added stuff that's been sitting around but not yet expired, hoping to fix the soup's flavor. And texture. And color. You can only imagine what it smelled like, but the truly nauseating part was biting into the noodle/sauerkraut bundles. Some pieces were soggy and bland. The rest were crunchy and bitter. Oh, wait, no, that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was watching the sauerkraut and spicy mustard slowly dissolve the pickle like the Terminator calmly dissolving into molten metal at the end of T2. If only the pickle could have given me a thumbs-up too. barf.

Mar Mar, next time you make me angry, remind me of hot dog soup. I won't not find this funny for at least eight more years.