yet another effing going away party

Si got the viking funeral of going away parties (huh?) from his Alibi co-workers. They arranged for everyone to bring Simey's favorite foods, i.e. diarrhea date night with the toilet food, and hide behind the refrigerator, jumping out to yell SSSUR-PRIIIIIZE! when he walked in the door.

The surprise part was poorly planned. No one arranged a code word or signal to jump out and yell SURPRISE! so when the four people in the living room yelled SURPRISE! the fifteen people in the kitchen whimpered out sssur ..... urrrr ..... ppriiiise? five seconds later. Although, whatever. What am I, the surprise party police?

We've all been there, doggy. AM I RIGHT?! lol.

You can only imagine what kind of revolting delicacies were brought to the party. Except you don't have to cause I'll just tell you. There were tater tot wrapped bacon, buffalo wings, bacon wrapped bacon, a platter of 99¢ double cheezburger, cheetos, flaming hot fries, a big steaming bowl of queso and like ten different ranch dips. Tim brought health food.

There were the nerds happily playing rock band and eating cheetos inside and the depressed, angry hip kids sitting out back. I went out back for three seconds and already the scent of superiority complex and organic wine sunk into my clothes. But what would a party be without the narcissistic meatloafs? And that says a lot coming from me, I fucking write about myself every single day. We're all unsure, unhappy meatloafs, but it's not good for your skin to smoke and sulk all the time. CU 2mrw!

Oh, that reminds me, target is selling a poster of chatspeak definitions, like ruok= are you o.k.?, lol= laugh out loud, you get it. Anyway, they edited the saucier abbreviations, omg= oh my goodness gracious, wtf= what the foot. Who cares.

Also! I'm headbanging in happy excitement. Marc made me a homemade aluminum foil/straw contraption for my glass of water after I complained about Moshie dipping his paw into my drink. I'm a meatloaf.