the business of shower products

Since I've been house and pet sitting for Mar Mar, I've been able to poke around his bachelor pad ad nauseam. Emphasis on the nauseam. Dirty dishes, dirty socks and 80 gigs of porn. Ass Stretchers 5 entertained me for a while, but really, I've been fascinated by (too strong a word - more like mindlessly noticing) the large differential in girl and guy shower products.

Figure 1. A guy's shower.

Note the all-inclusive 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner. A simple bar of soap gets the job done.

Figure 2. A guy's shower, variation of Figure 1.

Sometimes guys use hotel bottles of conditioner for weeks. Sometimes they use whatever nameless white goo in a random tube for weeks. Again, a simple bar of soap cleans anything from head to toe.

Figure 3. The fancy pants guy's shower.

An option of bar soap and liquid soap?!?! Go back to 2005 you metrosexual.

Figure 4. Classic soap and toothpaste combo.

Sometimes one needs to wash the hair on his head with the same soap he uses on his back hair. WITHHOLDING JUDGMENT!

Figure 5. A girly's shower! yay! cute!

Le basics: A soft scrubby, a rough scrubby, exfoliating face wash, good body soap ($30), average drug store brand body soap, BIG bottles of inexpensive shampoo and conditioner (but never 2-in-1), smaller expensive bottles of really good shampoo and conditioner and a razor with four blades!

Obviously, the expensive stuff is only used when you're going to get laid or going out on a girls' night. Who cares what my frizz head looks like when I'm watching Seinfeld by myself? And the rough scrubby is for legs, arms, ass and back. The soft scrubbers is for delicates! Finally, in the interest of knowledge, do guys shower with plungers? I've seen guys shower before, but since they're on best behavior when naked maybe they refrain from the plunger stuff. DOES ANYONE KNOW? Question of the ages ... barf.

Anyway. Pretty fucking obvious, but I thought I'd comment for those single ladies and lads who need to be in the know. If anything, at least now I'm educated in the full collection of the Cum Hungry, Leave Full series. Thanks, M.