GIRL TALK: small dogs vs. big dogs

Let's talk about sex, baybee! Let's talk about you and me! Let's talk about ...

SMALL DOGS vs. BIG DOGS.

Uh, I'm sorry that the opening quote and the topic combined suggest bestiality ... THAT IS NOT WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. We are talking about dogs as pets. Platonic pets.

I was raised with big dogs my whole life, so I seem to have an affinity for them. Are dog sizes like your parents' political party, I wonder? You know, you tend to align yourself with whatever environment you were raised in. Man, I bet my parents WISH I rebelled by owning a dog size that I did not grow up with. Ugh, that is the third time I ended with a preposition, SORRY! My last English class was seven years ago, ok English professor?!

ANYWAY.

I'm sort of afraid of small dogs. Like, are they going to have sharper teeth? Or will they melt if I turn the heater on too high? This is sort of why I prefer cats. They have their own agenda to tend to. (another preposition ending ... i feel nauseous.) With cats, I'm like "hey cat, do you want to snuggle me while I read a science fiction book?" and then they look at me with complete indifference. Even that time I said "HEY CAT ... CHOKING ... help ..." Complete indifference. But this is not about cats, sorry. Let's get back on topic.

OK, DOGS.

Sometimes a dog will look at me with such sad eyes, I can't help but sing a Karen Carpenter song. And that is why I don't have dogs. The end.